Persona 4 BadBadBathhouse Fills
by A. Strudel
Summary: Fills I do from BadBadBathhouse. Mostly general and crack, occasional BL
1. President Yosuke

_The impossible happens._

_Yosuke Hanamura becomes President of the United States._

_What happens, anon?

* * *

_

Mr. Hanamura, clad in his power suit, reclined in his luxurious leather chair, hands crossed his head, with a mud mask and cucumbers over his eyes.

"TEDDIE. I NEED RINSING AND REAPPLYING."

"Yosuke, that wasn't beary nice. Can you say please?"

"NO I AM PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES ARGGHASDFNSK"

"Okay..." He frowned, walking out of the office to get beauty supplies, muttering "Sensei'll be disappointed" to himself.

At the same time, Souji entered through the heavy wooden double doors.

"HA! Look at meh now, I'm the HEAD OF THE UNITED STATES! SCREW YOU AND YOUR PIMP WAYS! TAKE THAT, PRETTY BOY!" Yosuke spat at Souji.

"Yosuke, you do realize that you're only fifteen years old and 20 years younger than the required age."

"Yeah, so? The people have realized my potential."

"... and you're not a citizen of the United States."

"I'm so awesome that they begged for my intellectual powers."

"... and you're barely passing English with a D."

Yosuke tried scowling at his friend, but that might make the cucumbers on his eyes fall. "Souji. GET OUT OF MY FUCKING OFFICE. Or else, I will have to call my bodyguard."

"You mean, your dad? Okay...." He slowly walked out of the office, and then "tripped" on the rug. "Whoops..."

He fell face-first into the wall. The cardboard wall fell apart and all of Teddie's hard work of painting had gone to waste. Then it caught on fire and combusted.

And since Souji is such a cool guy, he just walked away from the explosion.

* * *

LOL. Uh, do you guys know the song by Lonely Island.. cool guys don't look at explosions :p


	2. What Would You Do for a Flying Car?

_Souji asks Yosuke what he'd do for a flying car._

A/N: Guys, I went pretty cracky on this one.

* * *

Souji's back was aching from all the pebbles on the cold, hard ground of the craptastically thin tent that really wasn't keeping anyone warm. Only Kanji had managed to sleep, amazingly, like a rock. Yosuke was shifting and turning in his "bed" (which was really a bed of grass, probably), since the tent had only two sleeping bags and he knew that Kanji would beat the crud out of him if he didn't give it up.

"Hey, Yosuke...." Souji's voice cut through the air.

"SHHHHHSHSHSHSSHSHSHKFH!h11h11111!!!!11111" Yosuke said after sitting up abruptly, his orange hair looking like the colour of poo in the dark.

"KANGAY IS SLEEPING."

"What would you do... if Mr. Morooka was magical?"

"I would kill you. G'night man."

Souji, not quite satisfied with his answer, asked another question anyway. "Wouldn't it be so cool if I got a British accent?"

"What the hell?" Yosuke said, annoyed.

"British accents are cool... they pronounce "car" as "kah". That's so cool." Yosuke threw a sizeable rock towards Souji's chest. "Ow..."

"Go die in a puddle."

"Of what?"

"I dunno, lemme sleep!" From the other side of the tent was a soft thud.

Souji threw the rock back. It hit through the thin lining of the tent and the walls fell apart and all the fibers came off at onc, leaving the moonlight shining luminescently on the exposed trio. "Yosuke.... what would you do for a flying car?"

"Uhhh... I'd probably trade it for something like Cup-O-Noodles."

Souji sat up, trying to see his friend's face. "Really?"

"Yeah."

"Me too."

* * *

"H-huh?" Kanji rubbed his forehead, looking around him a broad stretch of white land, full of snow. "The hell...." The last memory that he had was talking to Souji and Yosuke and hiding in their tent on the camping trip, but this was ridiculous.

Kanji was wearing his skull tanktop.

He was in Antarctica.


	3. Someone Buys the TV from Junes

_SOMEONE BOUGHT THE TV AT JUNES, OH SHI—

* * *

_

Around three hundred workers were crowded at the back of the store at 2:00 PM, moving the TV (because, obviously, it takes three hundred workers to do it). Being the responsible manager's son he is, Yosuke finally arrived at the scene at 5:30 (he was too busy playing Cooking Mama on his DS).

"W-WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" Yosuke entangled his hands in his hair, gaping at the employee taking the widescreen TV away.

"Doin' my job."

"Well, y-you can't. Because..." He looked desperately around the store and saw the familiar bear standing around. "... because Teddie likes to watch Ni Hao KaiLan on his breaks! Right, Teddie?"

"Yosuke? What do you mean, I don't---" Yosuke glared daggers at him. They landed in the mp3 player section. "I mean, yes, I love to watch... whatever Yosuke-senpai said!"

The employee rolled his eyes. "You do realize there's probably 20 TVs around us?" Teddie widened his eyes and looked at Yosuke urgently.

"Yes, but Teddie is, er, very picky. He wants to watch that TV," Yosuke improvised. He subtly reached for his cell phone in his pocket. "Go tell 'im, Teddie."

Teddie was dumbfounded because he knew nothing of TVs. "Y-yeah! I like this one the best," he said. "It suits me. It fits to what I like," Teddie continued, becoming more passionate. "It caters to my taste. It conforms to my expectations. It..."

"Aw shit, no one's picking up," Yosuke muttered to himself, dialing madly on his cell. He called everyone's cell, except the fox's. "Guh.." In the corner of his eye, he can see Teddie rambling off about the TV. Yosuke went off to do something.

"Look, sir, a customer had ordered this TV and I have to get this out of here. I don't care about how freakishly much you like this particular TV. Now, if you'd excuse me." He loaded the TV onto a cart with the other 300 workers and carried it away.

"YOSUKEEEEE!! What are we gonna do?!" Teddie cried when he saw Yosuke appear again. He was holding a box of black spandex suits.

* * *

The next morning, Souji turned on the news and found out that Yasogami High had been broken in. Interviews of shocked students and Ms. Kashiwagi seducing the camera man filled the hour.

"The robbery of a giant flat screen TV from Junes had taken place late at night. Our hidden camera shows the criminals, here, entering through the floor with shovels. It appears that they are female..." the news reporter dragged on.

At the same time, his cell rang.

"Aw, dude, you won't believe this," Yosuke began.


End file.
